Easing Your Way into Bondage if You’ve Never Tried It Before

BDSM sounds equal parts scary and exciting to most people. If you’ve never done it before, you’re probably clueless about where to get started.

The good thing about power play dynamics is that you have lots of BDSM versions to explore – from light and gentle to super hardcore. What matters is experimenting with the stuff that turns you on to determine whether it’s actually as good as you envision it to be.

If you’re trying BDSM for the very first time, you can rely on the following tips to ease yourself and your partner into the experience.

Do Your Research
Many people have a narrow concept of bondage because they haven’t taken the time to educate themselves about it.

You can find lots of great documentaries, as well as books that explain BDSM as a kink and all of the activities that fall under the umbrella.

Such resources can also be utilized to learn how to practice BDSM safely, especially if you are considering impact play and other similar activities.

There are also BDSM forums and communities online. If you have very specific questions, turn to the actual practitioners for the best lesson on getting started.

Discuss Boundaries with Your Partner
Chances are that you wouldn’t be practicing BDSM on your own. The first step towards making things happen in the bedroom is a boundary setting conversation.

Let your sex partner that you’re interested in trying some BDSM. Get their opinion on the topic and ease them into discussing the things that they like and what they’re not open to trying at all.

Having clearly communicated boundaries in advance is the key to mutually-beneficial and satisfying power dynamics. You have to talk through every single element of the experience – from the accessories you’re going to use to the activities that you’ll enjoy. Having safe words in place will also be important, giving either of you the power to discontinue a session whenever things seem to become too overwhelming.

Try Some Rough Sex
Before trying actual BDSM, you can engage in some rough sex to determine whether things are as exciting in practice as they seem in theory.

Rough sex could have many elements – some hair pulling, light spanking, biting and even a bit of neck pressure applied during penetration.

You may find out that you’re not into such activities, although the idea sounds hot. That’s ok! The BDSM fantasy is a valid one and you can use it as a turn-on instead of actually practicing.

If both of you are having the time of your lives during rough sex, you’ll probably feel excited to move on to the next step.

Start with Simple BDSM Practices
There’s so much you can do in the realm of BDSM.

BDSM can be sensory play that involves ticklers and feathers. It can be sensory deprivation through the use of a mask or a ball gag. BDSM accessories like chokers, cuffs and leashes assert one’s dominance over a partner.

Obviously, you can also move on to impact play territory with paddles, whips and floggers. Getting a partner restrained through the art of shibari rope binding is something else that many will be interested in exploring.

BDSM extends to much more niche activities like chastity play, electro stimulation, wax play, urethral sounding, breath play, cuckoldry and lots of other things. Most of these activities are better suited to the needs of experienced practitioners. So, start out slow to get a good sense of the power dynamics. If both of you are enjoying the sexual pleasure that stems from BDSM relationships, you can opt for something kinkier and a lot more specialized the next time around.

Never Use DIY BDSM Accessories
Investing in specialized BDSM items when you’re dipping your toe in these waters may seem counterintuitive.

After all, lots of DIY items and household essentials can be used to restrain a partner or engage in impact play, right?

All professionals will recommend against such a DIY approach towards playing out a BDSM kink.

Even something as simple as restraining your partner with a scarf or a regular rope can have negative consequences. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you risk cutting off their circulation or causing some bruising.

Special BDSM products are a bit more expensive than household essentials but they’re designed with safety and comfort in mind. BDSM restraints, for example, almost always feature padding and they’re adjustable to ensure proper circulation. Quick release features are also available in the event of needing to get out of bondage quickly.

The same applies to impact play items. And if you’re interested in even more specialized BDSM equipment, the DIY approach is never going to be a good pick. You need durable, well-made items that can be cleaned and sterilized effortlessly. So, if you intend to do even casual BDSM in the future, get the right kind of stuff to guarantee both pleasure and safety.

Finally, always end your sessions with aftercare. Cuddling, talking to your partner and planning for the next sexual adventure will be great bonding experiences. When done correctly, BDSM can create a ton of intimacy and boost sexual satisfaction. All you need is openness towards novelty and a chance to communicate well with your partner before, during and after sex.

March 4th, 2024
Posted in Articles