My love affair with Jennifer Love Hewitt started on a Sunday afternoon back in '94 or '95 when I was watching Party of Five on TV. I can even pinpoint the exact scene because it gave me a boner I haven't been able to duplicate since:

Why would she ever date a douche like Bailey?

It however wasn't until I know What You Did Last Summer was released that I realised the full potential of Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts. This was a movie that made me an expert on low cut tops and cleavage. In scene after scene Jennifer Love Hewitt kept teasing us with her breasts and I figured it was only a matter of time before she would appear topless, because there are two things I expect from horror movies; gore and gratuitous tits. Nope..

Why anyone remember this movie

She's been on this path ever since. Always teasing with that cleavage but refusing to go topless. It's gone so far that despite Jennifer Love Hewitt showing her cleavage on her stupid ghost show every week, I simply don't care. Show me your tits already!

Gemma Atkinson is mostly known as a British glamour model appearing in British men's magazines. The one thing these magazine's is better at than their US equivalent is that they get their models to go topless. For some reason Gemma Atkinson is exempt from this rule.

Come on! you're basically naked anyway!

Its almost as if Gemma is trying to follow in the footsteps of Lucy Pinder, another British glamour model who refused to show her nipples for the longest while, but in the end decided to go topless. The problem is that Gemma Atkinson isn't as hot as Lucy Pinder so she should not be in the business of teasing us for this long.

I'm better than those other slores because I don't show my nipples

People are already losing interest in Gemma and her teasing ways, so I predict that its only a matter of time before she accepts a nice cash offer and finally sets her boobs free. Show me your tits already!

Anna Semenovich is the only lady on this list who I just want to see more of, period. I would obviously want her to go topless but so far she only seems to appear in Russian magazine's and that's not enough for me! With that said, I think that when you like Anna have breasts roughly the same size as your head you have an obligation to show them to the world!

I could've been a tennis player

I have high hopes for the future of Anna Semenovich because she has been showing more and more for every photo shoot she's done. In the latest shoot she did for Russian Maxim she was basically naked without showing anything.

We can only go nude from here

In conclusion I just want more Anna Semenovich! Russia, please share this beauty with the rest of the world and preferably share her with Playboy so we can get those nudes, but at this point I will take what I can get. Show me your tits already!

The hip-hop world was taken by storm with the arrival of Petey Pablo's Freek-A-Leek video. Not only because the music made everyone want to be sucked into a hurricane to escape it, but because it was the first time most us laid eyes on the curves of Esther Baxter.

I don't know what freek-a-leek is but I want to do it with you

Following the Petey Pablo video many pictorials in magazines for black men followed. White men snuck a peak as well when nobody was looking. Most famously was the appearance in XXL magazine in which Esther Baxter was topless and covered in honey. After this pictorial me and many other horny men thought that it was only a matter of time before she would let loose and show us her tits.

Best use of honey ever..

Instead of finally going topless Esther Baxter decided that the best approach to her career was to stop modeling completely. Surprisingly, not modeling makes less money than modeling so she was only gone for a about a year. During her hiatus she managed to pop out a baby who is probably ruining her tits as we speak (lucky bastard). I can only hope that she will bless the world with exposing her breasts before its too late. Show me your tits already!

Katherine Heigl and her big breasts single handedly made a show about teenage aliens watchable. Actually, the other two alien broads on Roswell were pretty hot too so beam me the fuck up Scotty, I want to meet this alien race. Katherine didn't show much cleavage or anything on the show but it was still clear that her bosom was something special. The pic below isn't from Roswell but from Bug Buster.

As naked as Katherine Heigl has ever been

After Roswell got cancelled Katherine Heigl moved on to not being naked in a whole bunch of other movies and TV shows, most famously Grey's Anatomy and Knocked Up. Both of these offered Katherine Heigl in her underwear and some nice cleavage scenes but nothing even close to being topless.

I apologize for the naked man

Katherine Heigl strikes me as a girl who will never go topless. I'm not sure what it is, but she just seems to do anything she can to avoid nudity. She also smokes, which is kind of unattractive. Ahrg.. just show me your tits already!

Unlike Katherine Heigl, Scarlett Johansson wants to go topless. She is just being a bitch about it. Scarlett even talked about wanting to do a topless scene for the movie The Island but as if his movies weren't atrocious enough Michael Bay put a stop to that. It might've all just been a giant marketing scheme for the movie but can we please banish Michael Bay to a deserted island of his own already?

Asshole

Things have been similar ever since. Scarlett keeps talking about wanting to a topless scene but never does which makes me want to punch her in the face. The closest she's come is this scene from The Other Boleyn Girl.

If there is no nipple, it doesn't count

Now that Scarlett Johansson got married its probably even more unlikely that we will ever get to see her pose topless in Playboy or something else. Maybe if her career starts tanking she will release a blurry sex tape. I think that's the only thing we might possibly expect in the future. Show me your tits already!

Here she is, the queen tease of them all, Denise Milani. Part of what frustrates me so much about Denise Milani is that she isn't an actress or a singer or a janitor. Her entire profession is to pose in skimpy outfits and to show off as much skin as possible without ever really being nude. That pisses me off so much. Basically Denise Milani gets paid to give everyone giant blue balls!

If I pulled a little more my boob would be exposed. But I wont. Because I'm a jerk.

What adds even more frustration to the equation is that Denise Milani claims that her breasts are 100% natural. A claim which has left many boob experts sleepless at night trying to wrap their head around how awesome it would be if it was true, and thinking of validation solutions for us to apply without ever seeing the full extent of her tits.

Does your balls hurt yet?

The final straw that makes her #1 on my list that not only does she have amazing boobs which she refuse to expose but she has an entire website full of half naked pictures! If you're an internet model and charge people for a membership you need to get at least topless! That's almost like a hooker charging you for a blowjob but will stop sucking right before you cum. Show me your tits already!