The 8 Best Marvel Characters
By Best I Really Mean Breast
By Niklas

I have detected a common trait in a lot of the female characters who dwell in the Marvel universe. They wear skin tight clothing and are very busty. Two very good reasons why there should be more female superheroes brought into the cinema. Preferably with a good script and not atrocities like "Elektra" and "Cat Woman" who relied too much on the hotness of the main character. Here are my personal 8 Best Marvel Characters!
 

#8 - Satana

Who is she?
Satana is the daughter of Satan. Holy shit. Not only was she trained in hell to control her demonic powers but she is also in possession of a daemon called The Basilisk which she can unleash upon any innocent comic book reader. She currently walk the earth posing as a prostitute, waiting to get picked up by horny men and then feed on their souls.
Why you want to have sexy with her.
Her kiss is powerful enough to make men shrivel up and die. Can you imagine the blowjob?
Why you shouldn't.
Uh, did you read the part when I said she is related to Satan and that after she is done with you she will feed on your soul?

#7 - Spider Woman

Who is she?
Rather than being accidentally bitten by a spider like her male counterpart Spider Woman was exposed to radioactive uranium as a child. To prevent her death, her father injected her with a cocktail of spider blood and also put her into cryogenic suspension which caused her to age at a very slow rate. When she was finally brought out of her cryogenic state it was discovered that she had super strength, are immune to all toxic substances and radiation and she can fire electric sparks via her hands.
Why you want to have sexy with her.
She has super strength and super endurance which means you can have sex with her all night long until you get tired. I guess most of you get tired after 30 minutes though so in addition to super endurance she can also hang upside down. Awesome!
Why you shouldn't.
Her body produces bioelectricity which gets released as powerful electric discharges. Not that its very likely but if you somehow manage to pleasure her the right way, would you trust that she can control her electric self?

 

#6 - Tigra

Who is she?
Tigra worked as a laboratory assistant on a physiological conditioning program that would enable a human to attain his or her full physical and mental potential. Being a test subject, the program is what gave her superpowers. She was also given alpha radiation by the cat people which turned her into a half-human, half-cat and also the object of lust from all children who grew up with Thundercats.
Why you want to have sexy with her.
Tigra's senses are about ten times as strong as a normal human. This means that you really don't have to work very hard to give her an orgasm (not that you were trying anyways). She is also super agile and has a tail.
Why you shouldn't.
Her claws are seriously not to be messed with. She is also highly sensitive to pheromones so when you catch her cheating with the next door cat don't tell me I didn't warn you!

 

#5 - Black Cat

Who is she?
Black Cat is an expert burglar who has gathered a vast fortune from all her thieving adventures. She is also wearing a black latex outfit that is seriously hot. For some reason she is in love with Spider Man and when she found out he married Mary Jane she started harassing them both.
Why you want to have sexy with her.
To become an expert burglar, Black Cat trained herself to become an amazing acrobat. Having sex with her would be like having sex with a gymnast on crack.. whatever that means.
Why you shouldn't.
In college she was date raped by her boyfriend whom she later tried to hunt down and kill. The only reason she didn't was because a drunken driver got to him first. There was also the episode with harassing Spiderman and Mary Jane.. in other words, stalker alert!!

 

#4 - Namora

Who is she?
Namora used to be the queen of the underwater kingdom of Atlantis or as I like to see her, the bikini babe of the Marvel universe. Unfortunately she is no longer with us as she was boiled alive by some evil guy named King Hyperion. It is unknown if she tasted like tuna or cod.
Why you want to have sexy with her.
Because ever since you saw "The Little Mermaid" you've been wanting to mate with undersea creatures. Plus, she is blue with pointy ears like an underwater elf which is totally hot.
Why you shouldn't.
She basically has no love for surface dwellers, a.k.a you and at one point actually planned to invade the surface to kill us all. In other words, her temperament is not to be messed with.

 

#3 - Shanna

Who is she?
Shanna grew up in the deep jungles of Zaire. After her father accidentally shot and killed her mother Shanna was traumatized and moved to America. There she decided to become a veterinarian. When that didn't work out she naturally moved to Africa and became "Shanna The She-Devil", protector of animals against poachers. She doesn't have any particular powers but her skills in all things nature gives her an edge over the rest of us city dwellers.
Why you want to have sexy with her.
Raw animal passion!
Why you shouldn't.
She seems confused. At one point she married Mele of Botor while still having sex with her long time lover Ka-Zar (no, I'm not making these names up). When she thought Ka-Zar was killed she went on a crazy tirade which included a romance with Peter Parker (yes, Spider man!). In other words she isn't the most stable girl you could get involved with. Also, she kills friggin dinosaurs with only a spear!

 

#2 - Elsa Bloodstone

Who is she?
Elsa Bloodstone is the daughter of monster hunter Ulysses Bloodstone. When her father died Elsa came into possession of the "Bloodstone Choker" which not only sounds extremely unpleasant to wear but also gives her some pretty cool powers, which comes in handy when she goes monster hunting.
Why you want to have sexy with her.
Did you check out her boobs in the above picture? She doesn't really have any special abilities which are useful in the bedroom so I got nothing.
Why you shouldn't.
She is friends with Dracula, the Frankenstein monster and a pureblood vampire so when you decide to dump her and she goes off to cry to her friends you probably want to be very far away.

#1 - Moonstone

Who is she?

Moonstone - real name Karla Sofen - was a renowned psychiatrist, with a nasty craving for power and control. When asked to cure Byron Becton, the original Moonstone, she instead used hallucinogens to persuade him to give her his moonstone. She's been affiliated with various criminal groups in the marvel universe and has managed to cause The Hulk, which isn't the sharpest tool in the box but still.. to have a mental breakdown among other things.
Why you want to have sexy with her.
One of her powers is that she can alter her costume at any time. Can you imagine the possibilities? French maid tonight and catholic schoolgirl tomorrow!! She can also control gravity which means any sexual position you desire can be obtained.
Why you shouldn't.
If you think your current wife is controlling then just imagine a control freak with mental super powers. Basically, if she isn't satisfied with you she will use hypnosis and make you think you're a table.

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