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Rack to the
Future
9 (technically 18) Breasts
You May have Forgotten
By Mad Danny Laagering
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like with TV shows that star David Hasselhoff and David
Hasselhoff himself, some boobs vanish without a trace. But
unlike David Hasselhoff, these were things we enjoyed and would
like to see ago. But where did they go? The answers may surprise
you. Or not, who cares, just look at the boobs. |
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Lolo
Ferrari
Lolo Ferrari -
Known as the woman with the largest boobs in the world,
Lolo felt that being totally fucked up by a plastic
surgeon would be a super way to get noticed. And
technically she was right, even if she was known to
scare neighbourhood children and cause milk to sour
right inside the cow whenever she passed by.
With boobs like beach balls, Lolo had a career as a
dancer and a porn star until her untimely death back in
the year 2000. So don't be expecting to see her
guns again any time soon, though in fairness they still
probably look the same 8 years after her death as they
did back then. |
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Uschi Digard
Uschi Digard
- Swedish model and porn star Uschi Digard achieved
fame as one of the numerous boobs who may or may not
have had a speaking role in Russ Meyer films back
in the day. In fairness, no one knows or cares if anyone
ever had a speaking role in a Russ Meyer movie.
Uschi retired in 1989 and, let's be honest, the
woman was born in 1948 so it's probably for the
best. Reportedly with 44DDD breasts, if she were still
modeling and making films today, in her 60th year, we'd
all be feeling very uncomfortable and having issues
looking at our mothers. |
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Pandora Peaks
Pandora Peaks
- Achieving startling fame by appearing in both the
Demi Moore film Striptease and Russ
Meyers' last movie in which all she does is get
dressed, undressed and wander around for about a half
hour, Pandora Peaks reportedly had 42HHH breasts, which,
for reference, is about the size of a golf cart.
A couple of years back, Pandora decided to throw in the
towel and the implants by having them removed and
retiring. That means if she were to stage a comeback,
we'd probably end up confusing her with age enhanced
photos of Tara Reid. |
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Pam
Grier
Pam Grier
- Everyone's favourite blaxploitation star of the 70's,
Pam Grier was built like a brick shithouse. A brick
shithouse with nice boobs, which is generally considered
the best yet most rare of all shithouses. Pam starred in
such classics as Coffee and Foxy Brown, in
which she mostly kicked ass and took her shirt off,
sometimes both together.
In recent years, Pam has gone straight, appearing in
mainstream flicks like Escape From LA as a
transsexual gang leader and as a regular on the L
Word, which is about lesbians but still isn't as
cool as it sounds. With the death of the blaxploitation
genre, Pam seems to have decided to keep her clothes on
and even though she still looks good, she's almost 60 so
it's probably for the best that we not see what gravity
has done to her in the last 30 years. |
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Susie Sparks
Susie Sparks
- Anyone who ever had access to the internet long enough
to do a google search for big boobs knows Susie Sparks,
as she's featured in every ghetto, low budget free
thumbnail gallery of pictures from the early 90's that's
out there. With areolas like Frisbees, she was probably
many a computer-illiterate web surfers initiation into
the wonderful world of online porn, at least until they
got a virus from whatever Kazakhstan website they were
downloading images from.
Despite being plastered in so many pop up windows and
crappy free galleries, Susie left the world of nude
modeling to settle down and have a family sometime
during the 90's. She made a brief comeback in 1994, then
faded away again, leaving only the memory of nipples
like catcher's mitts in her wake. |
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Daizie Kellogg
Daizie Kellogg
- Marketed as the girl next door, Daizie was all over the
internet from about 2000 to 2004 and then
pretty much jack shit happened. She was very popular,
not just because she was cute and had nice boobs, but
because she was natural and didn't look like someone
hard carved her face out of a pig's ass with a hatchet,
something that unfortunately can't be said for all big
boobs models out there.
Though her photo sets are still all over the place,
there seems to have been nothing in the last few years,
indicating that perhaps she found religion and gave up
adult modeling or she's currently a super sex spy for
the US government using her feminine wiles to seduce
secrets from enemy nations. Or something that makes
sense, whatever. |
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Alyssa Alps
Alyssa Alps
- Alyssa was big with Score throughout the
90's, so to speak, in that she not only modeled but
wrote for them as well. Apparently something of a
journalist, she maintained a monthly column about
her life touring as an exotic dancer. Most likely
there were many mentions of sweaty men trying to tip
with change rather than bills, like she's too good
to take a sandwich bag full of nickels or some shit.
A few years back Alyssa finally threw in the towel
and like so many others decided it was high time she
saw her toes again, so she had a reduction. Rumour
has it she's still working as an agent in the
industry, helping the world see other boobs. So
that's pretty cool. |
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Tawny Peaks
Tawny Peaks
- Unlike many big boobs stars, Tawny put herself out
there in some bizarre ways during her career, such
as when she appears on People's Court to
defend herself against a dude who said her tits gave
him whiplash because she swung them at him and they
were hard. The judge ruled in favour of Tawny and
presumably also ruled that the guy who sued her was
a douchebag and a pussy.
Tawny retired from the industry in 1999 and
has since gotten married and settled into the
average life of folks who don't show their goodies
for money. However, she did auction of her implants
on eBay and got $16,000 for them from
GoldenPalce.com, because the people who run that
site are absolutely retarded and will pay for
anything. |
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Zena Fulsom
Zena Fulsom
- Though you may not know her name, the odds are you
saw pictures of Zena Fulsom at some point on the
internet. At least, if you ever put any effort into
a search for boob pictures you have, and you
wouldn't be here if you hadn't. Most likely, after
seeing the photos you probably thought they were
absolutely retarded. But you looked at them all
anyway, just like every other guy.
Fulsom did not have implants and her pics weren't
morphed either, because morphing is stupid and does
no one any good. Instead, she had big ass prosthetic
boobs strapped on over her real ones. Why? Why not?
She made a few picture sets and some videos lugging
around the fake boobs that looked an awful lot like
a couple of shaved St. Bernard's before
vanishing from sight. Presumably the fake boobs
either melted under the lights of a photo shoot one
day or she tripped and was caught under one and has
yet to be rescued. |
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Check out Mad Danny's
website at: scenicanemia.com
Link: http://www.boobieblog.com/racktothefuture.html
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